Designer sweats available from Joe Hockey’s Sydney North Shore garage on Sunday mornings before church, personally signed by the great man himself. Price $1000. All proceeds going towards the re-election of the greatest treasurer Australia has ever known – me. (What lefty smart-arse put James Baldwin in this poster?)
I will then address you, my adoring rich throng, to explain why I hate poverty and why you should too. My media critics say I am promoting class warfare, which only brings this wonderful concept into public gaze and humiliates the poor. I love my critics.
Class warfare is good for Australia. It creates wealth. Welfare is a drain on the budget that we cannot afford. Well, we can actually, but I want to make the underclass – the poor, sick, feeble and disabled – feel as guilty as hell for being social parasites.
The more they are despised for their heinous crime of receiving welfare payments, the better the chances of them get off their arses or out of their wheelchairs or their sick beds, to actually do some – wait for it – ‘heavy lifting’. I just love that now-famous quote of mine. All that money saved on welfare could go towards making the rich richer, which is already an encouraging trend. (Along with the poor getting poorer). Top-end tax cuts would be a good start.
After church, I want you all to jump in to your rich-mobiles and head to the poorest suburbs to do some serious hating. You will be doing Australia proud!