30 August 2012
This piece is derived from an ABC News article which begins:
Australia’s richest person Gina Rinehart has urged Australians to work harder and cut down on drinking, smoking and socialising if they want to become wealthy.
In her regular column in a mining industry magazine, the controversial magnate says billionaires and millionaires are doing more than anyone to help the poor by investing their money and creating jobs. The article is titled Let’s get back to our roots.
Is that Gina Rinehart behind the bar pulling beers?
Sure is! This is my second job – to make ends meet.
What happened to your $20 billion?
It has all gone. Socialist policies, high taxes and excessive regulation wiped me out. But I’m not so badly off. No, those who hurt the most when investments are killed off by taxes, green tape and socialist policies that are not friendly to business or conducive to investment, are those who usually vote for the anti-business socialist parties. And for them, the price is very high. It’s a job lost, when they have few savings, a mortgage to meet and children to clothe and feed.
That’s sad. You used to be the world’s richest woman. And you claimed to care so much about the poor.
That’s right. I always insisted that it was billionaires such as myself who were doing more than anyone to help the poor by investing our money and creating jobs. The millionaires and billionaires who choose to invest in Australia are actually those who most help the poor and our young. And you had the cheek to talk about class warfare. You didn’t help matters at all.
Well actually, I objected to you urging Australians to work harder and cut down on drinking, smoking and socialising if they want to become wealthy. I thought that was an insult to the millions of Australian workers who go to work and slog it out to feed the kids and pay the bills. Besides, I believe that the fruits of economic growth should reach everyone.
And what brings you here Mr Swan, you socialist pig?
Well, I was paralysed by my own red tape and became unemployable.
Guess we have both gotten back to our roots.
I’ll have another beer. No, not that one … PULL THE OTHER ONE!