“Sincerity is the key to success. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” Groucho Marx
“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.” Oscar Wilde
“He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” George Bernard Shaw
“I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.” Charles Chaplin
“Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.” Gore Vidal
“Imbroglio ~ confusing and complicated situation.” Collins Dictionary
“I stand, despite all logic or reason, in a political imbroglio with the Senate. I’m accused of bookending myself with insincerity, cynicism, ignorance, stigma and even illiteracy – what an indictment on an education minister. Yes, I’m verrrry interesting – but stupid.” Guess who?
“Verrrry interesting – but stupid.” Arte Johnson ~ Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In YouTube
Australia’s richest person Gina Rinehart has urged Australians to work harder and cut down on drinking, smoking and socialising if they want to become wealthy.
In her regular column in a mining industry magazine, the controversial magnate says billionaires and millionaires are doing more than anyone to help the poor by investing their money and creating jobs. The article is titled Let’s get back to our roots.
Sure is! This is my second job – to make ends meet.
What happened to your $20 billion?
It has all gone. Socialist policies, high taxes and excessive regulation wiped me out. But I’m not so badly off. No, those who hurt the most when investments are killed off by taxes, green tape and socialist policies that are not friendly to business or conducive to investment, are those who usually vote for the anti-business socialist parties. And for them, the price is very high. It’s a job lost, when they have few savings, a mortgage to meet and children to clothe and feed.
That’s sad. You used to be the world’s richest woman. And you claimed to care so much about the poor.
That’s right. I always insisted that it was billionaires such as myself who were doing more than anyone to help the poor by investing our money and creating jobs. The millionaires and billionaires who choose to invest in Australia are actually those who most help the poor and our young. And you had the cheek to talk about class warfare. You didn’t help matters at all.
Well actually, I objected to you urging Australians to work harder and cut down on drinking, smoking and socialising if they want to become wealthy. I thought that was an insult to the millions of Australian workers who go to work and slog it out to feed the kids and pay the bills. Besides, I believe that the fruits of economic growth should reach everyone.
And what brings you here Mr Swan, you socialist pig?
Well, I was paralysed by my own red tape and became unemployable.
Guess we have both gotten back to our roots.
I’ll have another beer. No, not that one … PULL THE OTHER ONE!
I really do have an image problem. People see me as a stuffy politician with a perfect suit, perfect hair and I really do look and sound like a party-line-script-reading robot. Just boring old Wayne the Treasurer, that’s who I am.
And the other problem: just because I have taken on Rinehart, Palmer and Forrest, the Libs say I am playing the ‘class warfare card’ – and the media is buying it. But the fruits of economic growth should reach everyone. The gap between the rich and poor is widening. I hate this inequality, but Labor has lost its working class base. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place!
What can I do?
I need to convince the working class that I’m just like them, not boring, and that I really do care about them. Well, one truth out of three ain’t bad!
How can I sell that message? We in Labor couldn’t sell fish on Good Friday.
I’ll align myself with a real-live working class hero, then people will think I’m just like him. I could even pretend to be him – no, that’s going a bit too far – I’ll leave that for the cartoonists.
Who can I use?
The only Australian working class hero I can think of is Paul Hogan, but the Taxation Office wouldn’t like that.
The man who inspired my political values and the man whose music I still love – Bruce Springsteen – ‘The Boss’. His songs talk about economic inequality being the seeds of class warfare. He saw the signs of the decline of middle America long before the economists did. Bingo!
So, what I’ll do is get a video done and put it on YouTube. I’ll wear a T shirt and jeans and I’ll look like a real cool dude.