Joe Hockey

 

 

 

Designer sweats available from Joe Hockey’s Sydney North Shore garage on Sunday mornings before church, personally signed by the great man himself. Price $1000. All proceeds going towards the re-election of the greatest treasurer Australia has ever known – me. (What lefty smart-arse put James Baldwin in this poster?)
I will then address you, my adoring rich throng, to explain why I hate poverty and why you should too. My media critics say I am promoting class warfare, which only brings this wonderful concept into public gaze and humiliates the poor. I love my critics.
Class warfare is good for Australia. It creates wealth. Welfare is a drain on the budget that we cannot afford. Well, we can actually, but I want to make the underclass – the poor, sick, feeble and disabled – feel as guilty as hell for being social parasites.
The more they are despised for their heinous crime of receiving welfare payments, the better the chances of them get off their arses or out of their wheelchairs or their sick beds, to actually do some – wait for it – ‘heavy lifting’. I just love that now-famous quote of mine. All that money saved on welfare could go towards making the rich richer, which is already an encouraging trend. (Along with the poor getting poorer). Top-end tax cuts would be a good start.
After church, I want you all to jump in to your rich-mobiles and head to the poorest suburbs to do some serious hating. You will be doing Australia proud!

‘Budget emergency doesn’t exist’ – Hockey stumbles across the ditch

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Link to related article from Independent Australia 28 July 2014:

Shocking Joe Hockey admits ‘budget emergency’ was a lie

Treasurer Joe Hockey admits to a New Zealand audience there never was any Australian budget emergency …… to justify a Budget of savage spending cuts, largely directed at low-income, disadvantaged Australians …… turns out the budget emergency doesn’t exist.

Wayne Springsteen – working class hero

Born to run for parliament
Born to run for parliament

 

1 August 2012

MUSINGS OF WAYNE SWAN

I really do have an image problem. People see me as a stuffy politician with a perfect suit, perfect hair and I really do look and sound like a party-line-script-reading robot. Just boring old Wayne the Treasurer, that’s who I am.

And the other problem: just because I have taken on Rinehart, Palmer and Forrest, the Libs say I am playing the ‘class warfare card’ – and the media is buying it. But the fruits of economic growth should reach everyone. The gap between the rich and poor is widening. I hate this inequality, but Labor has lost its working class base. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place!

What can I do?

I need to convince the working class that I’m just like them, not boring, and that I really do care about them. Well, one truth out of three ain’t bad!

How can I sell that message? We in Labor couldn’t sell fish on Good Friday.

I know!

I’ll align myself with a real-live working class hero, then people will think I’m just like him. I could even pretend to be him – no, that’s going a bit too far – I’ll leave that for the cartoonists.

Who can I use?

The only Australian working class hero I can think of is Paul Hogan, but the Taxation Office wouldn’t like that.

Got it!

The man who inspired my political values and the man whose music I still love  – Bruce Springsteen – ‘The Boss’. His songs talk about economic inequality being the seeds of class warfare. He saw the signs of the decline of middle America long before the economists did. Bingo!

So, what I’ll do is get a video done and put it on YouTube. I’ll wear a T shirt and jeans and I’ll look like a real cool dude.

And for my speech at the John Button Memorial Lecture I’ll use ‘The Boss’ as my theme and I’ll run the video too.

That should stop all this ‘class warfare card’ crap, should win back the working class, and should make me look like a real human being after all. Problems solved! Trifecta!

Besides, Julia is on holidays so this is my chance to steal the limelight. The media is bound to give me great coverage.

This is going to do wonders for my image.

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