This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard this flight of fantasy – the one you booked but didn’t exist. You’ve been ripped off!
Today, we’re doing a consolation tour of Sydney. It’s no secret that we pilots loathe Qantas, so we’re about to do a very low swoop over head office to scare the crap out of management. Hey, that was fun!
Now for some extreme fun, we’ll head to the Harbour Bridge and fly under it, to tarnish the Qantas name. This’ll make international headlines. Phew, that was close! The chandeliers on that cruise ship will be rattling.
If you look out to the right, you’ll see the engine is on fire. That’s the price they pay for maintenance cutbacks. We better head back to the airport.
I hope you packed your flippers and water wings because the brakes are faulty, and we could overrun the airstrip, ending up in Botany Bay.
The ‘Spirit of Australia’ could be dead in the water.
REFERENCES:
https://www.canberratimes.com.au/story/8785881/qantas-fined-for-selling-seats-on-cancelled-flights
https://www.afr.com/politics/federal/qantas-claims-are-flights-of-fantasy-20231102-p5eh6x