Wife: Darling, please stop swearing and cursing petrol companies when the kids are in the car. They’ll think they are growing up in a world dominated by opportunistic corporate greed.
Husband: OK. These charming people always jack their prices up for school holidays. They might as well paint signage on petrol stations with what they really think of us, like suffer, diddums, stuff you. We’re helpless, and they know it.
Wife: Stop the car and I’ll give you a nice Valium. Then I’ll drive and we can try to enjoy our holiday.
Husband: Good idea, but I want to know why they can get away with it.
Answer per Allan Fels former head of the ACCC: In short, firms are free to charge as much as they like. They can price gouge lawfully as long as there is no unlawful collusion.
Husband: Well, that’s a fu.. err friggin’ disgrace. Professor Fels said that almost a year ago, and nothing has changed. Meanwhile, big businesses cause real hardship and sacrifice, according to Fels.
Wife: Let’s play ‘I Spy’. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with B – P.
Husband: Bloodsucking parasites.
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