Qantasy Land
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard this flight of fantasy – the one you booked but didn’t exist. You’ve been ripped off! Today, we’re doing a consolation tour of…
Orangutan – Palm oil is the problem
The dinner party hostess offers nibblies to a male guest – Guest: I checked your kitchen earlier and I am not impressed. Hostess: How dare you! Guest: You should be…
Babies’ rights on the line
Mother’s reply: How dare you text a bad press message like that! This is going public you know. People are going to assume I am ‘too posh to push’, and…
Sights on elephant ivory poachers
For conservation organisations, getting worthwhile commercial TV coverage of major global issues, such as species extinction, must be difficult, because we rarely see any. At university, journalists were taught ‘Dog…
WHAT’S IN A HARMLESS JULIE BISHOP CLOWN FACE MASK? PLENTY OF FARCE!
Australian Federal Police have raided the parliament house gift shop. The raid followed a call to 2UE’s whisper line by an anonymous tipster citing inside knowledge and details of a…
QUEENSLANDERS WITNESS A CONCESSION SPEECH DELIVERED BY A DYING TOAD
Every morning, Campbell Cane Toad awoke, headed for the bathroom and kissed himself in the mirror. He then transformed into a besuited political being with the title: Premier of Queensland.…
“WE KNOW HE IS A FIZZ OF A WIZ, IF EVER A FIZZ THERE WAS, BECAUSE BECAUSE … “
We’re off we’re off the Wizard, The wonderless Wizard of OzHe’s turned us off, We’ve done a U turn, And this is what we say We know he is a…
BILL THE CONSENSUS CEPHALOPOD: “I AM NOT AN OCTOPUS SHORT OF AN ARM”
As a CSIRO marine scientist examined a tragic creature, a seven-armed octopus discovered in a load of baloney by an abalone diver just off Dunder Heads, he mused, “Could this…
MALCOLM THEIR MESSIAH – HIS LAMP THEIR MECCA – EN MASSE THEY TAKE FLIGHT
Mothologists are aflutter with the discovery of a new phenomenon unheard of in the annals of mothology. After dusk every evening, humanoids from Sydney’s trendy inner suburbs metamorphose into moths…
‘I’LL DO THE GAGS’ SHORTEN: ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF BEING A MARXIST?
Good evening and thanks for joining us. You look ridiculous.You need all the joining you can get. You at the ABC are falling apart. Funding cuts must be taking their…
MALCOLM TURNBULL – BACK TO THE FUTURE
Hello my dear Liberal Party switchboard operator. Please put me through to NBN Co – that’s the National Broadband Network Company – if my carrier pigeon didn’t arrive there 30…